Black Eye
Last week I was chatting with mom about this and that when she mentioned that she went to a “3elwyah†(although we are Sunni) and asked her to read quran for one of her kids (me) and see “what’s wrong with him?â€. She told my mom that I’m “ma7sood†(black eyed?) and I should go to “rugyah shar3yah†to get my dose of quran and to delete all the “7asad†files. While I’m not sure if would go or not, I definitely think I’m “ma7soodâ€.
Few years ago I used to have one hell of a job, the pay was extremely good for me and my parents couldn’t even believe it. Everything seemed magical to them, you can’t blame them … they were thinking “OMG our son who just graduated from high school actually made a career out of his hobby and he’s making some good money out of this†(keep in mind that I didn’t go to university or anything I just had a diploma in a totally non-relevant thing).
So whenever they got the chance to talk about me in front of our relatives or guests they would, sometimes they add few lies to spice things up and sometimes when they run out of stories they make up their own new ones, 3aaaadi “WE ARE PROUD OF YOU†… I used to tell them everything, EVERYTHING. I guess that what’s made them more excited and kept on telling their own versions of my success stories. I remember once when the added too much spice and ended with a very hot “salfah†… all you need to know is that they mentioned a seven digits number. I definitely was a 7asad material.
This year is my shitiest year ever (career wise). I got laid off from a start-up agency of a friend of mine and I’m freelancing ever since. I discovered I’m not a really good freelancer … I lack some key skills in order to become a successful freelancer, Motivation and Discipline … when you are working outside the agency structure you have to rely totally on yourself to do everything.
I know I used to have the motivation and discipline before, I’m just thinking “7asad†took them away or maybe it’s the lifestyle change I went thru (corporate sucker to independent freelancer). To be motivated I need people to bitch on me (account managers) and to get the much needed discipline I need some one to scare me every once in a while (Creative or Art Directors).
The Butter:
I gotta go to the “rugyah shar3yah†hoping that would work and I should finish my freelancing projects ASAP and get a job in an international agency or something (no local start-ups, ever).
Also, I didn’t know I can write posts this long.
P.S: Purg, STFU.
November 16th, 2004 21:54
Tata,
is that your MBTI profile
I am amazed how a simple comment on a few blogs have balloned into bloggers always mentioning me when they write long posts, I mean, just to think that somewhere deep in your minds, a small guy comes and says, purg does not like long posts, funny
November 16th, 2004 22:18
by the way u need 2 believe in it fully and think that it will help u by Allah well, so dont do it if u dont believe 100% in it!
November 16th, 2004 22:54
*gives you the evil-eye for having been the recipient of evil-eye vibes*
There! Now you will always be safe from the envious evil-eyes of people :D!
The catch being, however, is that from now on you must accept the sole responsibility for any future failures or short-comings. A daunting proposition but ultimately it is for your own good. Progress without it is impossible.
As for the whatchamacallit that is supposed to absolve you of the Dreaded Curse of the Evil Eye, I always thing it’s interesting how conditions such as “It will work only if you believe in it 100%” are tacked on. So like, if it doesn’t work, you’ll be all “Hmmm, it’s my fault, I must have only believed in it only 98.99% . And then if you wanna go try again, how do you boost your “belief” level anyways? Doesn’t it get harder now that the first attempt failed??
Forget that.
Itha tabee religious help all you need is the mo3awithaat oo tiwakkal 3ala allah. Latgoolee holy people intervening and doing all sorts of mumbo jumbo on your behalf, oo bil nihaya “lan yo9eebana illa ma katabaho allahu lana”.
All in all I say: Chin up, and go out there and do whatever it takes (well, not WHATever…but you know what I mean) to get you back on track. Only this time, learn from your mistakes (i.e. don’t blab to your parents about everything).
Oh, and if you need motivation and dicipline, I’ll be glad to be your slave-driver-for-hire!
Gigi, encouragingly
November 16th, 2004 23:14
7asad.
I cant believe its still popular in our culture at this time of age. The flying carpet and the wicked witch of the west are gone thankfully!
November 17th, 2004 01:00
well Mr Q , i didn’t belive it either before , but after watching it in action , i started to belive
i was with a guy in jeddah ( 1990 ) and he was looking at this porche and he said ” DAMN THATS A NICE CAR ” less than 10 sec after he said that , that car rammed into a bus and was totaled ….
November 17th, 2004 10:43
Forza, how many times in his life has he said damn thats a nice car?? He probably says it once or twice a day!! So that means more than 300 times a year, multiply this by 5 years, thats 1500 times he’s said that! Im pretty sure that this accident happened bcz its just bad driving or timing, not bcz some random guy says thats a nice car! Also, im sure that hasnt happened more than once in that guy’s life, so 1 out of 1500 isnt scientific enough ;P
November 17th, 2004 16:01
Purg, You know I love you, I’m just messing with you.
Anon, “Okâ€.
Gigi, I just got back from a “confessions†session with my parents they almost forced me to do it “sit down, wain rai7? … ta3aal sit down … nabi enkalmik†I will take your word for it … and I’m going to do “whatever it takesâ€.
Q, It’s mentioned in the quran, isn’t it?
forzaq8, Indeed it’s true.
November 17th, 2004 17:27
Ok…
Here’s my “two-cents” on this topic.
I DO believe in “7asad” for the following reasons:
a) I think that it is basically the concept of “negative energy”. I believe in energy/energy fields. So, following that logic, I believe in 7asad. (Remember my Karma post?)
b) If someone has hatred/envy/jealousy etc. I believe that they can harvest that energy and channel it towards you. Therefore (I think) when “shit happens” it is probable that it happened as a result of that energy.
For example, your car crashing, losing your job etc…
And as for the “3ilwiya” thing, it may or may not help. It is not the answer though…
I believe that everything in life is simply “MIND OVER MATTER”.
Let me elaborate…
What I mean by “mind over matter” is that:
“If you convince yourself something will work, it WILL work”.
e.g. 1
A few years ago a close friend of mine had “Strep Throat” AND “Pink Eye” at the same time (poor bastard). Those are two HIGHLY contagious and infectious diseases. People were avoiding him like he had the plague. Just having him near you could have you bed-ridden for a week. Really, It was that bad…
Shit, even his own wife left town and stayed with her parents to avoid the illness. I swear. I was like, WTF? Someone had to take care of him. So, I did it. I spent every waking hour by his side. I was in his face all the time. I simply told myself, I WILL NOT get sick. I refuse to get sick. And al 7imdilla, I didn’t.
e.g. 2
The other day I had a double-shot latte, NOT KNOWING it was decaf (which I found out much later). In my head I thought “yaaay, 2 shots of caffeine biaaaach, I’m gonna be so energized”, and I swear, I was super-hyper for the entire afternoon, even though it had no caffeine what-so-ever.
My brain “thought” that it did, hence my body responded as if it did.
Mind over matter.
I’m sure you’ve heard the stories of people “miraculously” being cured of cancer/diseases, because they “envisioned” attacking the disease in their minds.
Again, mind over matter.
Do not under-estimate the power of your brain.
So, I think if you tell yourself something enough, you will believe it. And even your body will respond to that (i.e. not getting sick etc.).
So I think that if you “believe in it 100%” it will work. It is simply programming your brain a certain way. Therefore, you can ward off the “evil eye”– With or without a “holy-person intervention”.
Additionally, if you are a faithful/religious muslim, I suppose you HAVE to believe in 7asad by default. It is afterall in the book. So, on that premise, you should accept the notion of “mal-intent” and put your faith in the Almighty to protect you from that “bad” energy.
You know, I think that the term “3ayn” is often mis-used.
People blame EVERYTHING on “il 3ayn”. (I’m not suggesting that YOU are.)
I just mean that people use it as an excuse way too often (I’m sure some of you would agree).
e.g. 1 (The Failure)
I never go to class, I don’t do homework, I am a slacker and I making straight “D’s” in school, I don’t get it– akeed 3ayn
e.g. 2 (The Lazy-ass)
I eat junk food for breakfast lunch and dinner (not to mention those in between snacks), I don’t move a muscle all day, and I am overweight, I can’t seem to get that awesome body I used to have WAY back in high school, my homeboys woulda killed for that six-pack– akeed 3ayn
e.g. 3 (The slutty single female)
I am a total “Ho”, I dress like a slut, I act like an airhead, I have no self-worth or self-respect, nobody takes me seriously and for some reason, I can’t keep a man, surely it’s cuz my female friends are jealous of my “hotness”– akeed 3ayn
e.g. 4 (The Slacker/Leech)
I am a lazy-ass good-for-nothing, talent-less dimwit who expects opportunity to fall into my lap without lifting a finger, I am making no attempt to achieve my goals on my own, my wa96a is not working and to make things worse, Daddy won’t let me use his credit card anymore. Man, my life blows– akeed 3ayn.
And so on………
However, in your case, I wouldn’t be surprised if it is 7asad.
You are young.
You are talented.
You have great work.
And a lot of people are rotten at the core. Their negative vibes permeate and infect your life.
So, my advice is:
1) Don’t share too many details with too many people.
2) Keep your faith in God.
3) Create an “energy” buffer zone between you and people with “bad vibes”.
4) Don’t think too much about the “ill fortune—.
5) Remember that: “Good things come to those who wait”. Patience is a virtue. And something will turn up soon.
So, for now, free-lance away Mr. T.— “I pity da fool” who gives you 3ayn…
Cuz as I said before “Karma is a bitch that don’t forget”.
So, with all that said, I hope you have a nice day.
Peace and Love and all that good stuff.
November 17th, 2004 17:34
p.s. I wrote that EXTRA LONG comment for you Purg…
November 17th, 2004 19:54
Amunki - Well-said, dear! You’re very clever (mashalla), but you already know that lol I have all these non-airhead(ish) thoughts in my head but I can’t seem to write them down in a coherent fashion so I only bother with the airhead(ish) part. You on the otherhand are able to project them perfectly into words. I’m jealous
Disclaimer - I in no way am channeling any negative energy towards you even though I already said that I’m jealous. I’m also part proud of you, GiGi, SheWrites and Granny Funk (in no particular order) and lots of other female bloggers just for writing and thinking the way they do.
TaTaBotata - The girls are right. Cheer up, chin up, and stay strong. Hopefully, this’ll be temporary and you’ll get your even luckier break soon.
P.S. I approve of long posts (and comments) so long as they are well-written, and this my friend was a well-written post
November 19th, 2004 14:55
Tata, I know.
Amunki, I know.
November 19th, 2004 18:11
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November 19th, 2004 18:23
Wai…so much to say! I don’t know where to start…
I agree with D&G… mashalla Amunki very well said. However I do not agree with you ya D&G when you keep on insisting on your air-headedness! I’ve been wanted to comment about this on your blog as well, when you mention how happy you get when you buy make-up, then proceeding to say how this makes you superficial. I didn’t comment cuz madri I get so stressed with all the things I want to say on several blogs that I never get around to saying half the things I want to, and it’s usually the important things that are left unsaid, because it’s easier to just comment on something 3al 6ayir. Anyway what I had been wanting to say was that actually, I think it’s important that everyone revels in the little things that bring us joy in this world, because there are just so many things that can and do bring us down. I for example feel the same way about buying stationary! lol! Such bliss when I go inta a maktaba! So you go out there and buy your make-up as long as it makes you HAPPY, is not harming anyone else and is not 7aram…and don’t apologize for it
Also, thanks 7abooba for the sweet words, I was really flattered. And I’m not saying this as a “payback” or anything, I really was discussing this with someone else, it’s about how I think you’re amazingly articulate and so thorough and thoughtful in all your comments! Mashalla 3alaich, wayid ta36een min nafsich, oo osloobich always crystal clear. Fa yalla 3ad ma artha 3alaich! So no more it6ubeen ib nafsich, mmkay? ;*
Ok, now back to the original topic. 7asad. I used to be really paranoid about 7asad. However, over time I’ve come to think of it as dangerous in that the acts that people do against you because of 7asad are aimed to harm you. That’s one interpretation. However, it doesn’t matter if you believe 7asad is a laser that a person can beam at you from their eyes (a la the 3abdulra7man il3agil character in that 7asad show! Hehe hope you guys know the one I’m talking about!), or whether you believe in 7asad the same way I do, as a malevolent drive in other people that makes them go out of their way to hinder your progress or succes. The point that I wanted to bring across is that it does exist in one way or another, but that there’s no use dwelling on it too much, or surrendering to feelings of powerless or discouragment because of it. Amunki I loved the examples you gave of such people! Hehe very funny and very true, cuz you see how by blaming everything on 7asad, people don’t take responsibility for their faults or look at what they are doing that could be the cause of the unsatisfactory situation they find themselves in.
As for people “yigroon 3alaik” or giving you “riqya shar3iya”, I also don’t believe in other people intervening on your behalf. I feel those are cop-outs. I mean, it’s a lot easier than doing anything yourself, isn’t it? And aslan one of the important aspects of Islam is that you don’t need holy people (priests or sheikh or anyone) to act as a mediator between you and God and what he has in store for you. And this is what brings me to my next point:
(Sing it with me now) “*YOU* GOT DA POWWAHHH!!!” (dum, dum DUM chica chica) hehehe
so yeah, i7ru9 3ala girayat il-mo3awithat 3ala nafsik, and like Amunki said, don’t advertise any good breaks you get from the top of Kuwait Towers. And above all don’t get discouraged! The road to great success never did run smooth… just keep working on your motivation and discipline for now.
Oh yeah, that reminds me… you not interested in hiring me as your personal slave driver, huh?
/looks at her cow-hide whip sadly.
Gigi, sadistically
November 28th, 2004 19:09
Aww GiGi that’s really really sweet of you *^_^* You’ve managed to make me the unblushable (izzat even a word? lol) D&G actually blush! I’m extremely flattered specifically about the part about my writing because as an aspiring author, that’s like the “ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT” I can get, so again, thanks