Here, take my money
Dear Readers,
Excuse me for how personal this post might be but I need some advice.
I’m facing a probelm and I have no idea what to do. My family forced me into a deal that I’m not sure about. They are asking me to give them a BIG big chunk of salary to ’save’ it. The problem here is, I’m not sure all that money will go to me. It will most probably go as in investment in my family business but (according to them) I will be asked if I agree or not. Of course I can say ‘NO’ but you all know what will that make me look like, the guy who’s turning his back to his family. It’s not like they ‘need’ the money, the just ‘want’ more money.
Saving in general is a very good idea in this very unstapple world but It doesn’t have to be this big, It’s almost 80% of my fucking salary. I don’t have any intentions in getting married, at least for the next 5 years and I’m not planning on opening any major business too. I have been freelancing for the whole past year and I passed by some very dry times. I ‘need’ this salary, you really have to see my car or that ‘bashaar’ mobile I’m still using to know how much I need that salary.
Their execuse is, I blow my salary on ’silly things’ like books, magazines, food and musical instruments. Well, I live a very different lifestyle from my family’s, and If they think these things are silly, well, it’s up to them but these things are the life for me and I can’t promise them I won’t buy more of these things with my new salary.
Now I was given the option to say ‘no’ to the whole deal [and ma raa7 nez3al] but I know for fact that once I do that I will be alienated, I will be an ‘outsider’ and they will never think of me as a memeber of this family. I know becasue it happenned before, and I don’t want to go through the same experience again.
As the end of the month gets closer and closer I find myself helpless and I know I will be fucked if I agreed to this. They did their homework and they were like “OK, You need this much for the car gas and this much for the phone bills … and hey check this out we are giving you extra 40 KDs to play with. This is REALLY more than enough”
So? what do you think I should do?
June 26th, 2005 18:13
You’re an adult. You work for your own money. You’re free to spend it as you like.
As your family, they need to understand that. They may not agree with your choices, but in the end, that’s exactly what it is — your choice.
Don’t cave into familial pressure, especially when it comes to financial issues. Stand your ground and do as you see fit for your own life.
N.
June 26th, 2005 19:30
Quick-SWAT
>Strengths
u can say NO !
>Weaknesses
It’s a family call !!
gona be Mr.Alien in da house !
>Opportunities
Hit the road !
>Threats
No guarantees of return on investment !
If, I were in ur place, of which I really don’t wana be ! I’d give in probably for 40% of the salary, No Way 80% !!!
June 26th, 2005 23:34
As they said, it is YOUR choice, and you are an adult.
If their intention is you saving, well then you should learn how to save without someone forcing you to. What you can do is open a bank account set aside some of your salary ( and not 80% its WAAAY too much!!!) and don’t put ur atm card in your wallet where it’s easy to spend. Also set aside some money for your “fixed” cost, the gas, the phone bills extra, anything else is yours to freely spend on books, magazines ect.
You could also use the savings money in stock, bonds, or the “dana” and “jawhara” things.
Now if their intentions is investing it in the family business, well i guess thats a good thing too cause the money should be getting back to you. But not 80%.
If you have doubts about it but you wanna help them out, explain to them that you want to manage your finances and want to start saving on your own. So you could “invest” very little, or nothing at all.
In the end the choice is yours
Sorry for the very long comment…
Good luck!
June 26th, 2005 23:53
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June 27th, 2005 00:29
Tell them that you want to save the money for a special project like opening your own agency or anything. its ur money they cant take it unless they really need it!
June 27th, 2005 04:34
As long as you are living in their house, they have the authority to control a huge part of your life. Wanna be independent, move out, and dont let them spend any money on you, cause as soon as they do, then they immediatly have a right on you. at least thats what my “friends” shrink told them.
June 27th, 2005 06:43
Since they only want “more money,” not “need” it, then why does it have to be all the 80% or nothing!
I’d say if you think the investment has some potential, go for whatever percentage you can afford. If it’s your family business, then one day it’ll come back to you in the long run.
June 27th, 2005 08:36
try to get to a deal less than 80%
thats a lot
else you could go the low road and say you got a salary cut and not give them that …
June 27th, 2005 13:51
usually i do not like to post, but i do have somethin to say it might do u good or maybe not but at least its worth a try.
never mix bussiness and pleasure and that goes double with family, money is dirty and that should never be in the way between family members.
my advise is tell them that u will be doing the savin and that if anythin is needed by them u are always there to help and if worst comes to worst give them a very small percentage.
June 27th, 2005 18:18
How about if you tell them they are right and you need to save up the money and then tell them this is why you decided to put the money in a Jawhara account. Explain to them that if the money is in the Jawhara account you are not spending it and you are getting a chance to win a lot more.
It doesnt have to be a Jawhara account but the idea is that if you already have your own saving/investment plan you can say no to them without seeming like you are turning their back on them.
June 27th, 2005 23:20
Try to reach a compromise, like giveing them less than what they have asked for 50% instead of 80%, or tell them you could try it for a couple of months and if you didn’t like it, you can give it a quits.
But they do have a point when it comes to saving. I am so against people who spend all the income on a regular basis and never save.
June 28th, 2005 09:16
Thanks everybody, I really appreciate your input and I pretty much agree with everything you said.
I had the ‘talk’ with them yesterday and we agreed I will do the saving myself, however, They want to ‘monitor’ it.
I used some of the execuses you guys suggested, the jawhara account, starting a business and the fact I’m adult (which I tend to forget sometimes).
None of us is happy but I hope we will get over it soon, I’m not feeling good about the way they are reacting to this but they always been sensitive to stuff like that.
I told them I might actually ‘blow’ all of my salary this month cuz I been waiting to buy some much needed things.
June 28th, 2005 10:37
Dude! Tell them u just got a salary cut, and ur salary is now 150KD, and they are welcome to take 80% bcz u love them and family comes first!
June 28th, 2005 10:58
LOL I think Q has the best idea
June 28th, 2005 21:07
Can you counter offer to save the family thing?Like tell them straight up that you think 80% is too much and offer 20% and tell them that you plan to also save another 20% of your salary in the bank for your future.That way you are at 1/2 of what they wanted and perhaps everyone is happy?
June 29th, 2005 17:26
As long as you are not married, have a roof to live under then ALL your salary is their right, and you should give them as much as they need and they have the right to control it.
Once you get out and settle down with someone (a.k.a married), then that changes, but I do agree with what they said in that you do spend your money without any real purpose, hence it is better with them. Just do a simple calculation and see how much you spend and where that money goes to. If you spend more than you NEED on fun stuff then you are wasting your money. You will need this money later in life, trust me, and you will regret not saving earlier.
Now if you are some genius with a big business idea, or maybe get lucky and hook up with some rich chick, then you can get an extra source of income, but we (the Mandate group) have no knowledge of anything different.
For you to be sure it does not get spent unwisely by them, all you do is have that account in your name, yet they can monitor your account for them to be sure that you are saving. Once they get the feeling you are getting more responsive, then they will ease down.
OK end of comment.
July 2nd, 2005 21:35
The first thing you could do is ask them how much they’re making. Tell them that you would like them to give you their money so that you can save for them. Sit with them and TELL them how much they need to spend to survive, the rest you will take, since what ever they spend on is stupid as far as you’re concerned.
Be sarcastic and ask them if they would like you to work overtime so that you could blindly hand-over more hard earned cash. Ask them if they would like you to take a loan out for them, maybe sell the clothes off your back.
Lawfully nobody has the right to take your money away from you. If you do agree, you would open the door to them asking for more and more, its obvious this will happen since they had the audacity, nerve, guts and insolence to ask you in the first place.
DON’T BE STUPID, TELL THEM YOU’VE MADE YOUR OWN PLANS FOR YOUR OWN MONEY. If they ask what, tell them it’s none of business. (maybe in a polite way). They have no right to know how much you make, nor how much youspend, nor on what you spend on!
July 2nd, 2005 21:43
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